Oh No! There’s NO Toilet Paper! 5 Toilet Paper Alternatives

Never in a MILLION years would I have thought I would see the day where security had to guard the toilet paper isles in stores because people were wiping the shelves clean!

That’s right, we live in the day and time where there is a toilet paper shortage and not a square to spare!

Desperate times call for desperate measures but don’t panic, we have five alternatives for you to use. 

Oh No! There’s NO Toilet Paper! 

As I write this article we are currently under a global quarantine due to a virus.

Store shelves across the United States have become bare as customers started hoarding supplies out of fear and greed.

From my understanding, they are worth more than gold right now.

Many stores started limiting the amount customers could purchase and violence was witnessed in some cases, all over the paper we use to wipe our butt. I kid you not. 

I can honestly say I may have been in the same situation had we never moved off the grid. 

Not to mention living through hurricanes on the coast for the last twenty-two years.

Don’t get me wrong, we still use the fluffy white stuff on rolls. However, we are not panicked by the empty Charmin shelves.

We know of alternatives that are very doable in the time of need. 

How Can I Poop Without Toilet Paper?

First, don’t panic. You can still get your bum clean.

Toilet paper wasn’t invented until 1857 and I promise you that people were going to the bathroom way before then and survived.

Even if you hoarded years worth of toilet paper, eventually you will run out. Then what? It’s a great idea to familiarize yourself with tissue paper alternatives. 

Can You Make Your Own Toilet Paper? 

The answer is yes, and no. You can make your own as long as you have the materials.

However, it is a very laborious process. Since there are easier and faster alternatives, I would opt for my other suggestions below.

On the contrary, I think it’s a great idea to have the knowledge so I would at least try it once. If nothing else, it could be a fun project with the kids or a 4-H group. 

Here are the DIY instructions on how to make your own toilet paper. 

What Can I Use If I Don’t Have Toilet Paper? 

I’m glad you asked. There are several options, many are extremely doable.

Once you’ve tried them, you may make a permanent switch.

According to consumer reports the average American spends over $122.00 per year on toilet paper!

Forget the quarantine shortage, look at all the money you’ll save by switching to TP alternatives!

Can You Use Baby Wipes Instead Of Toilet Paper? 

The answer is YES! However, PLEASE- for the love of all things plumbing DON’T FLUSH the wipes down the toilet.

Plumbers everywhere are already experiencing major plumbing issues and we are only one week into the paper shortage. 

You can make your own natural baby wipes (save this DIY for later too!).

Green Child Magazine shares their easy cloth and disposable DIY baby wipe instructions.

If I were to add anything to their instructions it would be four drops of Lavender Essential Oil. 

Leaves You Can Use For Toilet Paper

Remember when we were kids and made forts out in the woods?

Now, do you remember getting poison ivy in places you shouldn’t have? Yeah, not fun at all.

Here’s the good news that can bring back some memories without all of the itching; there are leaves that work great in a pinch to help wipe down under. 

Before you start pulling an Adam and Eve, make sure you can properly identify the plant you are about to wipe your tush with.

When choosing the best leaves, look for large leaves free from bugs, thorns, and debris.

Perform a skin test by rubbing it on the backside of your wrist and waiting several hours to check for sensitivity. 

Mullein (Verbascum thapsis) For Toilet Paper

Also called Cowboy Toilet Paper, mullein has been used for years (way before the invention of Angel Soft).

One key tip is to use the leaf with the fine soft hairs on the leaves in the same direction you are wiping, not against the grain.

Mullein is found growing in Europe, Asia, America, Africa, and Australia, plenty for everyone. 

Use Lambs Ear (Stachys byzantine) For Toilet Paper

Lambs ear has a very soft velvety leaf that feels soothing against the skin.

It is also great for herbal medicine.

Luckily, Lambs Ear grows in every region of the United States so it’s readily available whenever nature calls. 

In addition to Mullein and Lambs Ear, other natural TP options are

• Broadleaf Plantain
• Large Leaf Aster
• Cottonwood Leaves
• Thimbleberry Leaves
• Corn Lilly

The Family Cloth

The family cloth works pretty much like cloth diapers.

Families all over the country may be turning to the family cloth if the store shelves keep running empty.

I was sent the product in the picture below a long time ago to do a review, little did I know that we would rely on this amazing product so near in the future.

This is a purchased product, but you could easily make your own out of soft fabric.  

Here is how to use the family cloth. 

1. Lightly wet the cloth so it’s damp, not soaking, on one half of the cloth. 
2. Wipe with the wet side
3. Flip the cloth and dry with the other side. 
4. Place the used cloth in a wash bag
5. When the wash bag is full, wash soiled cloth’s in hot water with detergent. 
6. Dry in dryer or hang to dry

DIY Bidet

The DIY Bidet and the family cloth go hand in hand, or more like hand and tushy.

Get you a sports bottle, like the ones that football players use with the long curved straw.

Fill it with purified water (warm water is even better) and clean that hind end before using a cloth to pat dry.

You’ll seriously wonder why you ever paid a small fortune all of these years on paper you flush!

*** make sure you use a new water bottle and have it dedicated for bathroom use ONLY! Because….ewwwww!

Corn Cobs In Place of Toilet Paper

When my husband was growing up his mama and papa lived in the country- the backcountry.

They had oil lanterns, newspapers on their walls for insulation, and a bucket full of corncobs in the outhouse.

Of course, this was after the cobs have been shucked! 

Shucked, dry, corncobs make an all-natural, biodegradable alternative and are surprisingly soft on delicate areas.

Each cob is for a one-time use only. 

Mother Of Invention

They say that desperation is the mother of all invention and I have to admit, we are in desperate times.

I firmly believe if we can let go of thinking about how things are supposed to be and start thinking about what can work, we will overcome any obstacle.

Even running out of toilet paper. 

What will your alternative be? 

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